1
00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:05,883
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
2
00:00:05,957 --> 00:00:09,154
♪ In living color♪
3
00:00:09,227 --> 00:00:11,787
- ♪ In living color♪
- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
00:00:11,863 --> 00:00:14,525
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,533
♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,237 --> 00:00:21,364
♪ In living color♪
7
00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,600
♪ You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ♪
8
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,075
♪ It's never too late
and it's never too soon ♪
9
00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:28,203
♪ Take it from me
It's a'ight to be ♪
10
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,179
♪ In living color♪
11
00:00:30,248 --> 00:00:32,876
♪ How would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete ♪
12
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,248
♪ And all mankind danced
to the exact beat ♪
13
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,345
♪ And at night it was safe
to walk down the street ♪
14
00:00:37,422 --> 00:00:41,415
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
15
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:44,120
♪ In living color♪
16
00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,628
♪ In living color♪
17
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:49,258
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
18
00:00:49,334 --> 00:00:51,461
♪ In living color♪
19
00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:54,004
♪ In living color♪
20
00:00:54,072 --> 00:00:56,540
♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪
21
00:00:56,607 --> 00:00:58,768
♪ In living color♪
22
00:00:58,843 --> 00:01:01,471
♪ What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine ♪
23
00:01:01,546 --> 00:01:02,979
♪ In living color♪
24
00:01:03,047 --> 00:01:05,072
♪ How would you feel knowing
everybody was your friend ♪
25
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,640
♪ From thin to thick
and through thick and thin ♪
26
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:10,779
♪ And egotistical trips
was put to an end ♪
27
00:01:10,855 --> 00:01:13,551
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
28
00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:16,559
♪ In living color♪
29
00:01:16,627 --> 00:01:18,595
♪ In living color♪
30
00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:20,563
♪ You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ♪
31
00:01:20,631 --> 00:01:22,826
♪ It's never too late
and it's never too soon ♪
32
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:25,130
♪ Take it from me
It's a'ight to be ♪
33
00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:26,966
♪ In living color♪
34
00:01:27,038 --> 00:01:29,097
♪ How would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete ♪
35
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,232
♪ And all mankind danced
to the exact beat ♪
36
00:01:31,309 --> 00:01:34,676
♪ And at night it was safe
to walk down the street ♪
37
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:38,580
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
38
00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:40,879
♪ In living color♪♪
39
00:01:40,952 --> 00:01:45,946
Ladies and gentlemen, the star of Night Court
and her own television show...
40
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,355
Miss Marsha Warfield.
41
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:14,041
Hi. I'm Marsha Warfield.
42
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:19,283
You know, Keenan asked me to come
host the show for him tonight...
43
00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:23,726
and the first thing I'm gonna do is change
the way they do things around here.
44
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:29,097
I'm a get rid of these little tired
tramps. Oh, they gone already. Good.
45
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:34,764
'Cause all five of them together
don't even add up to one of my cheeks.
46
00:02:34,839 --> 00:02:39,276
But I do wanna keep
Mr. Deejay. Mm-hmm.
47
00:02:39,343 --> 00:02:41,607
- Come on down here, Mr. Deejay.
- [Wolf Whistle]
48
00:02:41,679 --> 00:02:43,874
Oh, yes, you.
49
00:02:43,948 --> 00:02:46,610
Come on down here, doll.
We don't have all day.
50
00:02:48,719 --> 00:02:52,621
That's... That's S.W. One.
51
00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:56,683
Come here.
Unbutton that shirt.
52
00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:59,127
Mm-hmm.
53
00:02:59,197 --> 00:03:01,358
- Oh, let me give you a little help. Come here.
- I got it.
54
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:05,926
You got it? Mm.
Isn't he something?
55
00:03:09,073 --> 00:03:12,372
Let me see you shake your thing.
56
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:15,879
Yeah, I'm a get five more like him
and put him on my show.
57
00:03:15,947 --> 00:03:18,279
We'll be right back.
Come on, darlin'.
58
00:03:24,255 --> 00:03:28,453
[Man] From Hollywood,
it's the most nonthreatening
black men on television...
59
00:03:28,526 --> 00:03:30,926
The Brothers Brothers.
60
00:03:39,437 --> 00:03:41,268
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
61
00:03:41,339 --> 00:03:43,273
Hit it, Tom.
62
00:03:46,410 --> 00:03:50,540
♪ My brothers a brother
and so am I ♪
63
00:03:50,615 --> 00:03:54,142
♪ Or so it appears to
the casual eye ♪
64
00:03:54,218 --> 00:03:58,052
♪ The networks want blacks but
they don't want them real ♪
65
00:03:58,122 --> 00:04:01,785
♪ So Oreos like us
get a hell of a deal ♪
66
00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:05,522
♪ So it's hi-dee-ho
to prime time we go ♪
67
00:04:05,596 --> 00:04:09,396
♪ With a "Hey, you jive turkey"
and a "What do you say, bro" ♪
68
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:13,301
♪ Our scripts and our acting
are whiter than snow ♪
69
00:04:13,371 --> 00:04:17,364
♪ We're brothers who are brothers
and we have our own show ♪
70
00:04:17,441 --> 00:04:19,375
- Hey, Tom.
- Yes, Tom?
71
00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:22,105
Uh, wait. How can
we both be named Tom?
72
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:25,512
- Easy. We're named after our uncle.
- [Rim Shot]
73
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,446
- Oh, boy. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
74
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,680
- Spike.
- Spike who?
75
00:04:30,755 --> 00:04:32,985
Hope it's not Spike Lee,
that little troublemaker.
76
00:04:33,057 --> 00:04:35,821
[Together]
What's his problem?
77
00:04:35,893 --> 00:04:39,852
♪ So it's hi-dee-ho
as I pick out my 'fro ♪
78
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:43,594
♪ We all play the same parts
whatever the show ♪
79
00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:47,331
♪ The guys are all pimps
and each chick is a ho ♪
80
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:51,466
♪ If we just sell out
we'll be rolling in dough ♪
81
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,305
- Say, Tom.
- Yes, Tom?
82
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:58,337
- Did you know Mother was
coming to live with us?
- There goes the neighborhood.
83
00:04:58,416 --> 00:05:02,409
♪ Bill Cosby's a doctor
with a lawyer for a wife ♪
84
00:05:02,486 --> 00:05:06,149
♪ As black folks all know
it's the average life ♪
85
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:09,386
♪ A six-bedroom house
and a really cute pup ♪
86
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:13,226
♪ His kids don't do drugs
and they don't get knocked up♪
87
00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:15,458
- Uh, Tom.
- Yes, Tom?
88
00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:18,764
- What's black and white all over?
- [Chuckles] Us.
89
00:05:18,836 --> 00:05:20,565
- Whoo-hoo!
- [Rim Shot]
90
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:24,438
♪ With a hi-dee-ho
and "What's happenin', dude" ♪
91
00:05:24,508 --> 00:05:28,171
♪ To show you our real self
would only be rude ♪
92
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:33,615
♪ It's a whole different world
till our ratings get low ♪
93
00:05:33,684 --> 00:05:37,882
♪ We're brothers who are brothers
and we have our own show ♪
94
00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:44,793
♪ We're brothers who are brothers
and we have our own show ♪♪
95
00:05:47,565 --> 00:05:50,398
[Together]
Good-bye.
96
00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:56,932
[Man] The Brothers Brothers
Comedy Hour is brought to you
by White Out.
97
00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,500
If you can't see it,
you can pretend it doesn't exist.
98
00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,018
♪ Can't touch this ♪
99
00:06:10,688 --> 00:06:12,679
♪ Can't touch this ♪
100
00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:17,125
♪ Can't touch this ♪
101
00:06:17,194 --> 00:06:19,389
♪ My, my, my
My pants so baggy ♪
102
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,829
♪ When I move, it ain't hard
make you wanna say, Oh, my Lord ♪
103
00:06:21,899 --> 00:06:23,696
♪ Hey, Hammer, do you
really have a weenie ♪
104
00:06:23,768 --> 00:06:25,759
♪ With pants like that
you look like a genie ♪
105
00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:27,428
♪ They give me
a real nice breeze ♪
106
00:06:27,505 --> 00:06:29,803
♪ Like a big, red hammock on
the coconut trees
They're cool now ♪
107
00:06:29,874 --> 00:06:32,638
♪ Are you gettin'my drift
I'm dry where it counts
It's a super fresh lift ♪
108
00:06:32,710 --> 00:06:36,703
♪ I'm jumpin' and groovin' and such
and this is the dance you can't touch ♪
109
00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:41,385
♪ Break it down ♪
110
00:06:42,953 --> 00:06:47,652
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
111
00:06:47,725 --> 00:06:51,183
Watch out, baby.
Hey, get me out.
112
00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:54,390
I can't see nothin'. Whoa.!
113
00:06:54,465 --> 00:06:57,366
Help.! Whoa.! Help me.
Get me out of this thing.
114
00:06:57,435 --> 00:06:59,733
[Yells]
115
00:06:59,804 --> 00:07:01,738
Stop. Hammer time.
116
00:07:01,806 --> 00:07:05,367
♪ Every time you see me
the Hammer's on a roll ♪
117
00:07:05,443 --> 00:07:08,935
♪ Even with my head
stickin' out the zipper hole ♪
118
00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:12,471
♪ The ladies think I'm hype
they copy everything I do ♪
119
00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:15,576
♪ It's Hammer, yo, Hammer
MC Hammer, go Hammer
until there's something new ♪
120
00:07:15,653 --> 00:07:17,553
♪ Can't touch this ♪
121
00:07:17,621 --> 00:07:21,580
♪ Yeah, boy
Can't touch this ♪♪
122
00:07:21,659 --> 00:07:25,356
- I just love these old horror movies,
don't you?
- Yeah.
123
00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:28,398
- I must have at least seen this one 50 times.
- Which one you like better?
124
00:07:28,466 --> 00:07:32,197
[Man] We at Cine-Globe Theatres know
that nothing is more annoying...
125
00:07:32,269 --> 00:07:35,796
than having to listen to a movie
while people in the theater are talking.
126
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:39,468
- [Arguing]
- That's why we turn down
the volume on our movies...
127
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,773
so that you can
really hear yourselves talking.
128
00:07:41,846 --> 00:07:45,873
- [Man
- Don't open that door, stupid!
129
00:07:47,651 --> 00:07:49,516
Whoo! Don't take off
that hood now.
130
00:07:49,587 --> 00:07:52,818
He's going to turn into the fly,
right now. Watch. Watch.
131
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:56,155
He's a fly! I told ya
not to take off that hood.
132
00:07:56,227 --> 00:08:01,028
- [Chattering]
- [Indistinct]
133
00:08:01,098 --> 00:08:05,398
- [Louder Chattering]
- I want him! He's so fine!
134
00:08:07,671 --> 00:08:11,334
Would the people who are speaking
please be quiet?
135
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:16,038
- I'm trying to watch the film.
- Who is this guy?
136
00:08:16,113 --> 00:08:18,274
Come on. You're up,
and you're outta here.
137
00:08:18,349 --> 00:08:22,012
- [Jeering]
- He took my armrest.
138
00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:26,580
[Man] Cine-Globe Theatre.
Admission may be reduced
if no movie is showing.
139
00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:31,384
♪♪ [Blues]
140
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,527
Thank you very much.
All right.
141
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:43,699
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Calhoun Tubbs.
142
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,675
Known to my friends as
Hard Fingers.
143
00:08:46,744 --> 00:08:49,178
See, that's 'cause back in 1947...
144
00:08:49,246 --> 00:08:54,445
I once played the guitar for over 36
hours straight... for no reason at all.
145
00:08:54,518 --> 00:08:58,852
That's right. I wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it go.
146
00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:02,984
♪ I played guitar for 36 hours
for no reason at all ♪
147
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,392
♪♪ [Vocalizing]
148
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,794
Thank you very much!
149
00:09:07,865 --> 00:09:13,269
You know, I'd like to welcome y'all
to my 75th anniversary show.
150
00:09:13,337 --> 00:09:16,329
That's right. Seventy-five years
in the business of the blues.
151
00:09:16,407 --> 00:09:20,571
Still trying to make it. I wrote a song
about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes.
152
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:23,511
♪ Seventy-five years
in show business ♪
153
00:09:23,581 --> 00:09:25,572
♪ And I'm still trying to make it ♪
154
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,981
♪♪ [Vocalizing]
155
00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:30,043
Thank you very much!
All right.
156
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,281
Now you know, I done known
all the greats.
157
00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:36,315
Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf,
John Lee Hooker.
158
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:38,725
But I ain't never played
with none of'em. No.
159
00:09:38,796 --> 00:09:41,890
But I used to see 'em walking down the
street. I'd say, "How you doin', Wolf?"
160
00:09:41,966 --> 00:09:45,834
Ain't never waved back.
I even knew Stepin Fetchit.
161
00:09:45,903 --> 00:09:50,067
Boy, that boy talked just like
a white boy... when he wasn't working.
162
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:53,166
But, you know, I believe he was
kind of like a genius that way.
163
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,804
I wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it goes.
164
00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:00,044
♪ Stepin Fetchit was a genius
Talk just like a white boy ♪
165
00:10:00,117 --> 00:10:02,677
♪♪ [Vocalizing]
166
00:10:02,753 --> 00:10:05,916
Thank you very much!
167
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:08,390
But, you know, I'm gonna
let y'all in on a secret.
168
00:10:08,459 --> 00:10:13,920
See, you got to have you a gimmick
to make it in the business of music.
169
00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:18,332
I done had me several gimmicks
in and throughout my illustrious career.
170
00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:21,394
They first used to call me
"Peg Leg" Calhoun.
171
00:10:21,472 --> 00:10:25,841
But that didn't work out too good 'cause
my feet swole up something awful...
172
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:28,708
sittin' on my kneecaps all day.
173
00:10:28,779 --> 00:10:32,875
That's when I switched to "Blind Boy"
Calhoun. That worked like a charm, man.
174
00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:36,750
But these damn hoodlums
stole all the pennies out my cup.
175
00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:40,483
I ain't writin' no song about that.
But I think I could right now.
176
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,286
Like to hear it? Here it goes.
177
00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:47,854
♪ They used to call me Blind Boy Calhoun,
but they stole all my pennies ♪
178
00:10:47,932 --> 00:10:50,765
♪♪ [Vocalizing]
179
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,166
Thank you very much!
180
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,296
I know what y'all are saying.
You saying...
181
00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:58,239
"This old man, he don't never
finish his songs."
182
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:01,244
Now, see, that's kinda like
my new gimmick.
183
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:05,806
Now, so far, I done wrote
over 12,000 new songs...
184
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:09,148
and ain't none of'em
longer than 13 seconds.
185
00:11:09,219 --> 00:11:13,155
But, you know, the music business
keep passing me by, man.
186
00:11:13,223 --> 00:11:16,317
Yes, sir. But I gotta look
on the bright side.
187
00:11:16,393 --> 00:11:21,660
I figure I've been a success
at being a failure for over 75 years.
188
00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:26,533
Now that's saying something, ain't it?
Wrote a song about it.
Like to hear it? Here it goes.
189
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:32,098
♪ I've been a success at being a failure
for over 75 years ♪
190
00:11:32,176 --> 00:11:34,610
♪♪ [Vocalizing]
191
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:36,612
Thank you very much!
192
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:50,890
Hello again. This is
film vault king Ted Turner...
193
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:54,795
doing whatever I please
with more classic films.
194
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:59,167
This is the original print
of The Grapes of Wrath.
195
00:11:59,236 --> 00:12:02,364
Gonna put it in those little View-Masters
and try to market them...
196
00:12:02,439 --> 00:12:05,670
with pictures of
the California Raisins on 'em.
197
00:12:05,743 --> 00:12:09,042
Now, I understand a lot of you people
have an innate respect...
198
00:12:09,113 --> 00:12:11,479
for the artist's original vision.
199
00:12:11,548 --> 00:12:16,110
But I have something you don't have:
A receipt of purchase.
200
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:18,746
[Blows Raspberry]
201
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:23,316
Now here's another film I've worked
the old colorizing magic on.
202
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,885
Might like it. Might not.
203
00:12:25,963 --> 00:12:29,797
Either way,
I'll sleep like a baby.
204
00:15:08,695 --> 00:15:14,429
Tune in next time for my new colorized
classic, The African Queen...
205
00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:16,799
starring Little Richard.
206
00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:19,100
Seems like a natural, doesn't it?
207
00:15:19,172 --> 00:15:24,166
I'm still Ted Turner.
Jane, I'll be right over...
208
00:15:24,244 --> 00:15:26,906
as soon as I floss my teeth.
209
00:15:35,855 --> 00:15:39,621
♪♪ [Rap]
210
00:15:58,645 --> 00:16:03,412
[Man Speaking]
211
00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:07,681
♪♪ [Rapping]
212
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:13,818
[Man]
The plaintiff, Hacbad Macbar...
213
00:16:13,893 --> 00:16:15,884
manager of an all-night
convenience store...
214
00:16:15,962 --> 00:16:19,227
claims he lost business
and suffered undue anguish.
215
00:16:19,299 --> 00:16:22,928
He is seeking damages
in the amount of $850.
216
00:16:23,003 --> 00:16:26,996
The defendant... where is he?
217
00:16:31,011 --> 00:16:35,141
Don't push me.
I'll see you in court.
218
00:16:35,215 --> 00:16:38,412
[Man] The defendant, Anton Jackson,
is countersuing...
219
00:16:38,485 --> 00:16:41,477
for loss of income
and emotional distress.
220
00:16:41,554 --> 00:16:44,819
The amount he's seeking
is... $5?
221
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:51,691
All rise, the Honorable
Judge Wapner presiding.
222
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:55,633
- Court is in session.
- [Loudly Clears Throat]
223
00:16:55,702 --> 00:17:00,639
Excuse me, Your Majesty.
[Blows Nose]
224
00:17:00,707 --> 00:17:04,700
As you can see, I do not
have any representation.
225
00:17:04,778 --> 00:17:08,578
I tried calling Jacoby and Myers...
226
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:10,912
but they wanted a retainer.
227
00:17:10,984 --> 00:17:14,476
And I wasn't about to give up
my jockstrap to nobody.
228
00:17:17,257 --> 00:17:22,923
So, I'd like to act as my own
"executioner" on this here case.
229
00:17:24,964 --> 00:17:26,829
Mr. Jackson, I assure you you'll
have plenty of opportunity...
230
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,391
to defend yourself
when the time comes.
231
00:17:29,469 --> 00:17:31,960
But, for now, you'll have to assume
the proper position.
232
00:17:32,038 --> 00:17:34,836
Ah, man. Again? Damn.
233
00:17:39,079 --> 00:17:43,539
Look, I assure you, the choke hold
won't be necessary.
234
00:17:43,616 --> 00:17:45,675
- Mr. Jackson.
- What?
235
00:17:45,752 --> 00:17:47,879
I mean go back to your proper place
in the courtroom.
236
00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:50,445
If you need an interpreter,
I'll get one for you.
237
00:17:50,523 --> 00:17:55,153
- Okay.
- Now, let's start with the plaintiff...
238
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:58,561
- Mr. Maca... Mac...
- Macbar.
239
00:17:58,631 --> 00:18:00,599
- Mr. "Coc-Mac."
- Macbar!
240
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:03,602
- State your case.
- Well, Your Honor, okay.
241
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:06,332
Last Wednesday, I noticed
we were running low on beer.
242
00:18:06,406 --> 00:18:10,069
I go back to my freezer...
one of the finest freezers
in Southern California, may I...
243
00:18:10,143 --> 00:18:14,011
Objection, Your Honor.
That's pure conjecture.
244
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,105
Sustained.
245
00:18:18,785 --> 00:18:23,085
I'm just as surprised as you.
246
00:18:23,156 --> 00:18:27,684
- Let's continue Mr..."Knapsack."
- Macbar!
247
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:32,322
- Whatever.
- Anyway, I go into the freezer
to get some beer.
248
00:18:32,398 --> 00:18:36,459
I see this man sitting on the
ice machine... changing his underwear.
249
00:18:36,536 --> 00:18:39,403
Several other customers saw this too.
They start running out of the store...
250
00:18:39,472 --> 00:18:41,497
and I lose much money.
251
00:18:41,574 --> 00:18:43,633
Your Honor...
[Clears Throat]
252
00:18:45,445 --> 00:18:48,778
I'd like to explain myself to you.
253
00:18:48,848 --> 00:18:52,784
I was merely trying to find
some privacy, you understand?
254
00:18:52,852 --> 00:18:55,753
I was changing for
my second show.
255
00:18:55,822 --> 00:18:58,552
See, that's what I do.
I'm a street performer.
256
00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:03,358
As a matter of fact, I was once
held over at Carnegie Hall.
257
00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:05,590
For how long?
Until the police arrived?
258
00:19:05,665 --> 00:19:09,863
[Laughing]
259
00:19:09,936 --> 00:19:13,030
That was a good one, Your Honor.
"Till the police arrived?"
260
00:19:13,106 --> 00:19:15,939
- [Laughing]
- Mr. Jackson.
261
00:19:16,009 --> 00:19:18,603
I'm gonna put that
in my act. That's pretty good.
262
00:19:18,678 --> 00:19:21,670
- May I approach the bench, Your Honor?
- I guess so.
263
00:19:21,748 --> 00:19:24,376
- You see, I wouldn't...
- Whoa!
264
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:28,910
Oh, 'scuse me, Your Honor.
I just had some leftover Chinese food.
265
00:19:31,858 --> 00:19:36,261
Mr. Jackson, one more outburst like that,
and I'll clear this courtroom.
266
00:19:36,329 --> 00:19:40,993
One more outburst like that,
and I'm sure the courtroom will clear.
267
00:19:43,536 --> 00:19:45,697
You were making a point?
268
00:19:45,772 --> 00:19:50,800
Oh, yeah. That's right. My point.
Exactly, exactly.
269
00:19:50,877 --> 00:19:53,846
- I got something way up...
You ever get one that...
- Try this.
270
00:19:58,451 --> 00:20:01,284
- Yeah, that worked. That's good.
- You keep it.
271
00:20:04,457 --> 00:20:06,823
Where was I?
Oh, yeah. My case.
272
00:20:06,893 --> 00:20:12,024
Okay. Now I need to, furthermore,
get my evidence together.
273
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:17,695
- Put everything out.
- He seems to have come prepared.
274
00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:20,898
Here it is.
275
00:20:20,974 --> 00:20:25,172
Allow me to introduce exhibit "A."
276
00:20:25,245 --> 00:20:29,909
- What the hell is that?
- These are my underwear.
277
00:20:29,983 --> 00:20:32,952
And these are
the same drawers I had on...
278
00:20:33,019 --> 00:20:36,352
at the night in question.
279
00:20:36,422 --> 00:20:39,289
The night when Mr...
[Makes Hawking Sound] over there...
280
00:20:42,128 --> 00:20:44,062
That's right.
281
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:48,260
Mr. Lungies kicked me in my ass.
282
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:50,632
- You're out of order!
- That's what I'm trying...
283
00:20:50,703 --> 00:20:53,228
You're out of order, Mr. Jackson!
284
00:20:53,306 --> 00:20:58,403
I'm out of order? You're out of order.
Mr. "Mac-haks" out of order.
285
00:20:58,478 --> 00:21:02,574
The whole damn
court system's out of order.!
286
00:21:02,649 --> 00:21:05,812
Oh, that was a scene from
And Justice For All.
287
00:21:09,022 --> 00:21:13,288
You know, I went up for that part,
but they blackballed me.
288
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:17,022
- You wanna see?
- Look, here's $20, okay?
289
00:21:17,096 --> 00:21:19,758
Here's 20 bucks, get out of
my courtroom. Don't ever come back.
290
00:21:19,832 --> 00:21:22,824
- Well, thank you, Your Honor.
- This court is adjourned.
291
00:21:25,571 --> 00:21:28,404
I need that.
292
00:21:28,474 --> 00:21:30,669
Here comes the defendant now.
Uh, Mr. Jackson?
293
00:21:30,743 --> 00:21:34,235
- What?
- Mr. Jackson, uh, how do you
feel about the ruling on...
294
00:21:34,314 --> 00:21:36,908
Oh, God! What is that smell?
295
00:21:36,983 --> 00:21:40,475
- [Mumbling]
- Nah, this interview is over.
296
00:21:40,553 --> 00:21:43,647
Join me next week
on Poor People's Court...
297
00:21:43,723 --> 00:21:46,453
Can I sing a song?
298
00:21:46,526 --> 00:21:50,189
♪♪ [Singing]
299
00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:59,834
- Yeah!
- All right, thank you.
300
00:21:59,906 --> 00:22:02,773
I wanna thank
our special guests...
301
00:22:02,842 --> 00:22:05,743
Where y'all at?
Come on out here.
302
00:22:05,812 --> 00:22:09,805
Our guest dancers, The Soul Brothers.
Thanks for dropping in.
303
00:22:09,882 --> 00:22:13,249
See y'all next week.
Get outta here.
304
00:22:58,097 --> 00:23:01,794
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
305
00:23:01,868 --> 00:23:03,426
♪ In living color♪